Are You Ready For Some Horror?
I’m sure the Tuna put him in just to shut the fans up… but I digress.
At halftime, my friends from high school kept talking about how they wanted to see Saw III this Thursday.
And I’m all like, “Whooptie fricken do! In a few weeks ya’ll could have a much better seat. Believe me!”
And they’re all like “What? What are you talking about?”
So I tell them about the Military Commissions Act of 2006, the same one I keep harping on this here blog.
“That’ll never happen to us,” they say. “We’re not terrorists. We have nothing to hide.”
“Yeah, sure, but what if Bush wakes up funny one day, decides he’s a Redskins fan, and sends all the Cowboys fans to Cuba?”
“Then we’ll all be enjoying the finest in Cuban cigars,” my smartass friend says, to which I reply, “Yeah, finest cigars lit up your lantern ass!”
Just to playfully bum them out some more, I told them about that Iraq war hero who jumped off a seven-story hotel to his death in New Orleans last week after strangling, chopping up, and then boiling his girlfriend.
Now, a word of advice to you fair bloglings out there:
Never explain in graphic detail the dismemberment of a young woman in front of a bunch of angry, drunken Cowboys fans, because they might not handle it too well.
Instead, change the subject, and “support the troops” one cookie at a time.
— ND
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