I Was A Teenage… Blog!

I have to say, I cannot fault Rush.  Michael J. Fox had it coming.  If he’s willing to throw his hat into the political ring, he should expect that the kid’s gloves are off (actually, can he really wear them anyway with all the shakes)?  I also can’t be angry at Rush for mocking MJF.  It’s his right to be an asshole.  Believe me, if I know anything, I know assholes.

The crux of Rush’s argument is that Marty McFly is intentionally off his meds (a condition Rush is all to familiar with) to “enhance” his popping and locking in an effort to garner sympathy, OR he’s going to his bread and butter and acting (not faking like that lousy Superman Christopher Reeve) as a way to garner support.  Fox is a great actor, as evidenced by his 7 year stint playing Regan-loving yuppie Alex P. Keaton, but in all honesty, I’ve seen better performances of Parkinson’s.  Apparently, because Rush watches Boston Legal (and MJF doesn’t twist and twitch enough on the show), Fox can turn it on and off as he pleases.  So aside from having terrible taste in television, Rush also is the authority on Parkinson’s tremors (which featured Kevin Bacon and Michael Gross who was in Family Ties with Michael J Fox!).  I’ll let you decide whether or not Marty McFly is a faker: see the ad here.

Anyway, I could go into how it was in poor taste to go after a guy with Parkinson’s, but in the end, I’ve mocked too many people to be taken seriously (although I was in agreement with Rush when he said Terri Shiavo wasn’t acting like enough of a vegetable).

Whether Rush is right or wrong, I think most people are missing the point.  Marty McFly is a national treasure.  He’s right up there with Cabbage Patch Kids and Tickle Me Elmo, the president and SUVs.  To attack Michael J. Fox is to attack the very fabric of our beloved pop culture (which passes for the real deal here in the states).  So maybe Rush is actually doing stem-cell research a favor.  If there’s one thing Americans like, it’s the under dog (and Underdog, of course), and I can totally see people rallying behind Stuart Little as he takes on the Blob.

But hang on just a sec; not to be outdone, the opposition to stem-cell research is throwing out their own ad in a virtual who’s who of second bananas, as a way to sway those voters who are moved by celebrities and politics.

So much like Rush, instead of going after the issue, I’ll go after the easy stuff:  “Patricia Heaton?!…didn’t everybody stop loving Raymond a while back? And how many times has Kurt Warner lost his starting quarterback spot? Come on, with all the ‘celebs’ they recruited you’d think they’d hire a decent lighting person and a set designer to give it less of a public access cable show feel!”

But then again, they did recruit Jesus himself, Jim Caviezel, so they must be right.  After all, the only iconic character Michael J. Fox ever played was this guy.  And everybody knows fake Jesus (wouldn’t that qualify FakeJesus as the Antichrist?) beats fake Teen Wolf.

Abram Valdez–c/s

P.S.:  Note to self …If you plan on attacking someone personally, at least make sure it’s funny.